Q. How do I feel consistently content and mentally well?
A. Don’t think sad thoughts.

Q. How do I feel more active and enthusiastic?
A. Do more fun stuff.

Q. How do I lose weight and feel better about the way I look?
A. Eat less food.

Q. How do I put on weight and feel better about the way I look?
A. Eat more food.

Q. How do I make friends and influence people?
A. Don’t be a dick.

Q. How do I save up for a rainy day and make myself more financially secure?
A. Spend less money.

Q. How do I become more attractive to possible romantic partners?
A. Smile.

Q. How do I stop the existential dread that haunts my brain whenever I am alone or in silence?
A. Don’t worry about things.