{"id":398,"date":"2019-09-02T16:51:14","date_gmt":"2019-09-02T15:51:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/johntownshend.com\/wordpress\/?p=398"},"modified":"2019-09-02T16:51:14","modified_gmt":"2019-09-02T15:51:14","slug":"looking-in-the-mirror","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/looking-in-the-mirror\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking in the mirror"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(This is a very negative rant. Feel free to skip this. It&#8217;s triggering and best avoided unless you are doing some psychological investigation into self hatred or something. For the record I don&#8217;t feel like this very often and was written with misdirected anger which produced a false reflection of my state of mind even for that moment. This rant is my worst possible way to see my reflection. My worst thoughts aired.)<br><br>Fuuuuuck! Just melt away like I know you will. Droop low enough to touch the floor. Or fatten up to fill the cracks. Time will age you before you hear a tick because you are a stupid fucking idiot prick.<br><br>Don&#8217;t worry, nothing will wipe away that vapid stare. Your face aloof because no one&#8217;s there, the lights aren&#8217;t on because no one&#8217;s home, you&#8217;re slow and dumb, why do you think you&#8217;re forever alone?<br><br>You&#8217;ve never succeeded, you&#8217;ve never won, you lose on purpose because your life&#8217;s a pun.<br><br>You&#8217;re starting to love yourself. You fool. No one loves you. Why would they? You fool. Obviously they must be idiots too.<br><br>So why do you hate yourself after so much progress? You don&#8217;t achieve anything; you just have process. All you do is try to cope, everybody thinks you are a dope.<br><br>You&#8217;re not so bad, you try your best, yes you&#8217;re getting good at lying, next!<br>You&#8217;ve still got brains, you&#8217;re pretty smart, then why don&#8217;t you use them you boring fart.<br><br>Go to sleep. You look tired. You have never been someone I have admired.<br>Wake up soon. Don&#8217;t look at me. Forget everything about yourself in your dreams you&#8217;re free.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(This is a very negative rant. Feel free to skip this. It&#8217;s triggering and best avoided unless you are doing some psychological investigation into self hatred or something. For the record I don&#8217;t feel like this very often and was written with misdirected anger which produced a false reflection of my state of mind even &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/looking-in-the-mirror\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Looking in the mirror<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=398"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/398\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jwt.quest\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}